Different Holiday

He used to cook for us every Christmas eve, He would call me often and we would take turns in the barbeque stand. He would blow our vehicle’s horn during New Year’ Eve. It was our routine for the past 17 years, but for this year, I don’t think so………


My dad was a stroke victim, April 16, 2002 to be exact. He was depressed, he started questioning GOD, he stopped singing his favorite Christian songs, stopped reading the bible and one point stopped believing. I was in college then, He was with my Grandma at Tanauan. Every weekend after ROTC, I would go there, to be with him, to feed him, changing his clothes, clean him after he “poo-poo” on his diapers. It was tiring. Then I started to ask GOD: Why my dad? Why him? I know there are lot of bad people out there, why him? Sumisimba naman kami lagi ah?Nagdadasal lagi, Bakit siya pa?Bakit??


As the saying goes “When it rains, it pours”, it really poured on us, My dad was frequently hospitalized then, I have failed grades, my siblings was becoming aloof, my mom quit her job to devote her time for my dad, and I quit YFC.


It was the most miserable time of my life, before I gave up my service as a chapter head, I devoted one week to think, cry and seek some guidance. Finally, I did it, I quit! I felt a newfound freedom within me, I can go everywhere I want, not minding anyone else, sleeping soundly on weekends, until I hit rock bottom.


What am I doing with my LIFE??? I started to ask myself. I’m so stupid to waste my life this way, I can’t side this way, I won’t die this way!!!


I made a U-turn towards GOD again, I started to attend meetings, started giving talks and do things a normal YFC would do. In addition, GOD has mysterious ways of re-arranging our life, I transferred to my new school, I applied as a Student Assistant and got the job, my family was doing well again, and there is harmony between us, until GOD took him away from us.


It was October 2, 2004, when my dad died. He was 49 then. He should have been 50 last November 20, 2004, too bad he passed away already.


I will never see his smiles again, I will never hear voice again, his touch, his embrace, his home cooked meals, his jokes and everything.


He will never see me graduate from college; He will never see me with my girlfriend,


He will never have to cooked for us again this Christmas; He will never hear the words “Tatay, Sorry po”, “Tatay, Salamat po ng Marami at Mahal na Mahal kita”